People usually say” sweet sixteen’, but it was never like that for me. Though I used to get my periods regularly, there used to be just a spotting – that’s all – the flow was never there. Why was it this way?
There was not a day when my mother and I were not worried. Though the agony I underwent was not comprehensible by my brother, the worry that showed on my face was evident to him. At times it would reflect on his face. Whenever I saw the film ‘ Paasa Malar’, I would identify Shivaji Ganesan’s role with my brother.
A brother who not only wants to make his sister happy but who is also ready to share her problems, a sister who is ever ready to help, a sister-in-law who thinks of me as her own sister- I was surrounded by people who wanted to help me. But I was a source of worry for them always… whenever I cried with pain, they cried along with me.
My urinary tract was fully inflamed. First, I had to get that cured. But still, the stomach pain persisted. The doctor said there was a fibroid in the uterus and so the uterus has to be removed immediately. I was admitted to the Government Hospital. Seeing a grown-up daughter, every parent thinks’ my daughter has reached the right age of marriage, we have got to get her married. And soon she will be a proud mother of a cute kid’- and every woman dreams of the day when she would be a mother.
How can my parents bear the fact that my uterus was diseased and had to be removed – worse, how am ’I’ going to accept this? How can I live without a uterus, barren, for the rest of my life? I was confused. By God’s grace, my aunt who had already taken treatment from, Dr. Kamala Selvaraj, GG Hospital.
She did save me. The fibroid was removed much harm to the uterus. We were all so happy. But the happiness did not last long, within a year, the urinary tract and the orifice got severely inflamed and pus started oozing out. Immediately Dr. Kamala Selvaraj did a laparoscopy, spotted the area of the pus formation, and corrected it by surgery. She also told me that after marriage, I should come only to her, as she was the one who knew all about my problems. But according to me, marriage was a dream or a mirage.
Whether or not I was getting married, we were all mentally set that any health problem I face can be corrected only by Dr. Kamala Selvaraj.
I entered my married life. My cousin and I were married at the same time and our husbands were relatives. She got pregnant in a few months, whereas there were no such indications in me. When accidentally I had asked a doctor, she said, a fibroid has formed again and I had to undergo another surgery. I was devasted. Immediately I went to Dr. Kamala Selvaraj. She was the one who said with confidence, ‘ Bring your husband and let me talk to him. You will have a child. Don’t worry’.
That was the time my right Fallopian tube has to be removed. Already, I had only one kidney and now this. I was completely disoriented. I even thought of getting my husband married to a healthy female.
But again, it was Dr. Kamala Selvaraj, who sowed the confidence in us. She said we could have the ‘test-tube baby’. She explained the procedures and my husband cooperated too.
I understood how significant the uterus was for a woman! It is not that only a woman who lives separated from her husband is defamed. A woman who cannot have a child faces innumerable problems in society. It is just this- if she does not carry a child in her womb, she should carry the emptiness in her heart life long.
I got positive results in the first attempt itself. But that joy was short-lived. It ended in abortion. The consecutive two pregnancies did not last. The third pregnancy lasted, but the growth of the fetus was not proper and had to be terminated. Fourth was a negative result. Only the fifth time did the pregnancy stand till the third month. So, to make this pregnancy last, the mouth of the uterus was tightened with a stitch.
All the expenses for these five attempts were borne by my brother. Even in rich families, they see the married girl as a separate family. But my brother did not want me to be deprived of the treatment just because of monetary problems. He was sure that this time, I would go to my husband’s house only with my child. He took great care of me when at home. I didn’t have to get down from the bed. He used to sit next to me- not minding to have his food – giving me juice and medicines regularly.
As for my husband, he has never even frowned at me. He never fights or uses harsh words against me. He accepted for me to stay in my brother’s house, as in their house, I had to climb stairs.
Even when I was young, when the fibroid was there, my uterus was branched. When all the doctors said nothing could be done about that, it was Dr. Kamala, who operated on it and corrected it. It was she who worked on my ovum and my husband’s sperm to bring out a healthy embryo. She is the one who made the embryo implant in my uterus.
There is nothing else as great as carrying your child in your womb. All these gifts – the gift of getting married, living happily with your husband, holding your child- all these gifts would have been just dreams to me, if Dr. Kamala would not have been there.
When I was in the last term of pregnancy, I used to go to GG hospital and sat there for a week. Dr. Kamala would tease me that I have come to ‘the camp’. But only when I saw her, I got the feeling that everything was fine and was going to have my baby delivered safe.
Whenever I saw her, the thought ‘without her everything would have been impossible; would come to me. In fact, after seeing her, I felt fresh with confidence.
Now I am the proud mother of a one-year-old boy. He is everything for me. At one stage, I had been so confused I was financially not sound too. But if I had given up, I would have not got this precious gift. Dr. Kamala was the one who led me through these hardships and my brother was already there to support me.
Yearning and worries are always there for the couple who come for infertility treatment, But, faith is very important for all of them. The treatment and faith together bring the result. GG Hospital is one place where all the bitter burdens are unloaded from the heart and a sweet burden is loaded in the womb.